21. Self-confidence when starting something new

Self-confidence is a word in English and in most languages that gets misused. It seems like it’s talked about so much that it’s now become this intangible necessity in getting something accomplished.

I want to set the record straight. I’m not an expert, I’m a person who has started something new and started to realise what true self-confidence is. So, I decided to write this article discussing what I’ve learned in the beginning, rather than at the end when other people tend to give their advice that doesn’t quite speak to you at the current place you’re in.

First, self-confidence and confidence in the English language are two different things. You can have confidence in a skill like playing a sport or gardening or cooking. You practice and practice a skill and you gain confidence. I’m not going to talk about that here.

Self-confidence is your ability to get through anything. And I mean anything. A friend posts a not so attractive photo of you on social media and hundreds of your friends (and others) see it. You get through that humiliation. You fail at an exam or communicating something in another language, you get through the ‘not good enough’ feeling.

And then you move forward. That’s the key. You don’t get stuck or indulge in humiliation or shame or whatever negative experience you’ve had. You let yourself feel the ‘negative’ emotion and you move forward. You don’t skip feeling the bad feelings, rather you honour it and still know that you’re ok.

That’s self-confidence. When starting something new, there will be mistakes, failed attempts, wrong decisions a good majority of the time. Why? Because if you were the expert, then it wouldn’t be new. That’s the irony.

Building your self-confidence and strengthening that ability can only be achieved by starting something new. If we stayed in the familiar way of doing things, then there would be no strengthening or growing happening. And that won’t bring your self-confidence to the next level.

So, look at like this, you’re starting something new and it’s about impossible to increase your self-confidence without doing so.

Let’s get this finished! ~Tara Rai